2012 Year in Review: Facebook Funnies

Confession:  Sometimes I think I’m the cleverist {is that a word? note: I didn’t say smartest}, wittiest,  funniest, smartest {note: okay, nevermind first note}, best Facebook status updater.

Here are some of my most fave Facebook statuses for 2012.  Most are from my personal FB page…I’ll try to be funnier on the blog FB page in Twenty13.

Cyber Monday does NOT mean you can send me racy instant messages!

PSA for the day: If you have a hole in the toe area of your sock DO NOT let your toe stay poked through for a long period of time-may cause indentations and cut off circulation. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Is it weird I wanted to get home early because I heard there were secret boards on Pinterest now? {I didn’t leave early, btw.} 

Sometimes, when I’m driving by a field of cows or horses and they happen to be looking my way, I wave.

Dear Mini Snickers Bar, I will never stop loving you. 

The younger of my two brothers turns 35 today. I have no idea how my younger brothers got to be older than me. Must be a Knuppenburg family trick.

Heated debate happening in this household tonight…Please weigh in with your thoughts:

When throwing away a pair of old, torn undies do you wash them first or not? I say yes, wash em. Thomas says no. Thoughts?

I grossly underestimated the amount of time it would take to tame these eyebrows. Is a live-in eyebrow waxer tax deductible?

This day was made for napping and chocolate chip cookies. Tomorrow better be made for the gym.

I keep meaning to edit some pictures from the weekend but I can’t stop stalking myself. My 15 minutes of fame is almost up!

I’m rooming with two twenty-somethings. What was I thinking?

So now that I’ve gotten a hold of my parents and the video has surfaced: Thom proposed tonight at the AWBU conference in front of all my blogging friends! We’re getting married!

I must be getting old…just had to ask a kid at work what a word meant :/

30 shooting stars in an hour & a half = 30 wishes coming true??

Thom just gold medaled in guacamole-making. For reals.

No, no sir, I do not want to do a blog review of your silicone female toy on my blog. Thanks so much for asking.

Saw a picture of a banana split earlier and now I can’t stop thinking about ice cream. I wish that worked with pictures of carrots. :/

Tip of the day: Don’t read The Hunger Games right before bed. You’ll spend all night fighting for your life. Before I woke up there were three of us left…guess I’ll never know if the odds were ever in my favor!

My personal resolve to not eat anymore crack cookies lasted two weeks. I may need intervention. Please send help. Or more milk.

Why do I fall for the “close your eyes and hold out your hand” trick e v e r y single time?

You know it’s been too long between those time-consuming grooming neccessities like leg shaving & nail trimming when your significant other asks “why the sudden grooming?” Yikes!!”

I have some serious news. Shamrock Shakes are available in the 

South, y’all! Pictures to come later.

Thanks, Taco Bell guy, for the college kid discount! Apparently he thought thos grays were highlights.

So I spent the day skills testing a bunch of boys from receiving and then realized that my shirt was unbuttoned halfway down and I was showing an inordinate amount of boobage. True story. I’m not sure if their good scores indicated their undivided attention to my training or lack of interest in said boobage. hmmm

In response as to why I’ll be a few minutes late returning from lunch- I’m suctioned to the chair in the assosiate lounge. Send help.

Seriously, my office is a meat locker…I’m a frozen slab of meat! (Not the tenderloin, though)

Who invented Mondays

Ladies...we need to come together and make a stand against a serious

 issue: eyebrow plucking. If we all abandon the practice I won’t feel

 so obligated to do it and it wouldn’t matter that my brows have

 become some serious jungle brush. Thanks for your continued

 support in this matter.

Currently, my lips are on fire. I’d like to say it was from an incredible midnight New Year’s kiss…but in reality, I put some of our canned jalepenos in our omelets. Yikes. Might have to call the QFD.