I’ve been in a desperate struggle with myself these last few weeks. The Quitman Fest disaster dampened my spirits. With the exception of work I’ve spent the last three weeks laying around reading about the exciting lives of other’s on the internet, perusing Instagram’s happy little perfect squares and feeling sorry for myself. I’ve also been mildly panicking.
You see. I did this thing. I can’t remember if I’ve typed it here or not; my posting has been sporadic, and basically, glossing over life and trying to make everything pretty.
I told my bosses I was stepping down. I told them I wanted to take advantage of the grandfathered part time benefits program; working only twenty four hours a week while maintaining insurance benefits. At the time, I was was working more online earning enough to make up the difference.
But now. The h u s t l e has left the building. I know I need to kick myself in the pants and get moving again.
The truth is. The truth is I don’t feel smart enough. Creative enough. Talented enough. The thing is-I did before that first craft event. The second thing is-I knew it wasn’t a great place to start. Is this self-sabotage?
I know. Get over it. Move on.
I will do this thing.
The thing is. You are one of the most creative people I know. And what you describe is something I struggle with from time to time. It's called Impostor Syndrome. We think we are impostors. Impersonating creative people, smart people, fun people, real writers…
I love everything you create and write.
I feel the same way sometimes. I'm not smart or creative enough etc. But I remember seeing some crafts you have done and they are awesome! I wish I could do as great as a job on such items like you can! You can do it!! 🙂