Despite my better judgement I turned forty last month. Having proclaimed I would grow old gracefully(I started this proclamation at, oh, twenty six) the emotion I felt bewildered me; not in the crying, heaving, anxiety attack inducing bewilderment way but the kind that sneaks up and says “Hey. Forty’s kind of a big deal.”
It’s just a number I said. It’ll be fun, I said. I had been thinking about the number for the entire year prior. I had planned on forty things I wanted to do, learn, blog about. There was even a hashtag; #dsg40before40.
There was plenty of introspection as well. Where am I at forty? What have I accomplished? Why am I still worrying about bills that need paying; a job that has probably run the line; will I be forgotten when I’m gone. Sigh. Yes. It went there-no kids, no legacy.
The birthday came and went and you know what? The day after-I felt exactly as I had the day before. Maybe age is just a number. Maybe it is a state of mind. Maybe it is just what you make it.
Make it. Make it a 4.0 score. That sounds good if we’re grading on a five star scale.
I’ll keep working for that fifth star.
Yes it is just a number. Happy birthday again:)
Hey isn't a 4.0 supposed to be top of the class? I'll be hittin' it like magna cum laude this June. We will rock 40!