So it’s been a couple of weeks since my trip home to {Michigan}. I’ve recounted and relived the amazingly fantastic parts of the trip: the Muskegon Bucket List; Ice cream dates with my nephew; beach day with cousins.
What has taken me a while to process is the not-so-great part of the trip and the reason I was home in the first place-my brother’s wedding. Or, more specifically, my part in my brother’s wedding.
I was asked to make the cake. Originally, it was to be a non-fancy single tier with a cascading tier of cupcakes-totally within my realm of ability and experience. A million years ago I played with cake decorating. Eventually I realized it really wasn’t a great creative outlet for me and I gave it up. I still dabble now and then but certainly nothing fancy. But, cupcakes? I could do that.
When it was first mentioned that something else was desired-a three tiered fancier cake- I hesitated. My initial gut reaction was that I couldn’t do it. Not wanting to hurt my brother’s feelings and add to his already strapped wallet I soldiered on and committed.
It was the absolutely most wrong thing to do. I see that now. I wish I’d just had the guts to tell the bride it was more than I could handle. This story does not have a happy ending, you see. I messed it up. And, when I say messed I mean it with a capital F. It was so bad I couldn’t even face my brother.
I spent an hour of the reception hiding in the kitchen. The small two-tiered ruffled cake I managed to salvage was on the cake table flanked by two plain white sheet cakes from the local wholesale food club store. The bride was heard saying not-so-nice things about it.
That disaster along with other family drama drove me to uncontrollable tears and I left the reception alone. Devastated. Embarrassed beyond belief. {I eventually returned a few hours later after I’d calmed down}
I’ve felt the need lately to just get it out there: I’m not good at some things. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I fail fantastically. What has taken me a while to realize is that I just have to move on and get over it. I must learn from it. I know what my limitations are. I must be brave and voice them. I must look failure in the face and acknowledge it’s presence in my life and then-let. it. go.
Lest I leave you picturing me miserable, puffy eyed, and snot-filled-here are different, better images to leave you with. More sweet moments from my trip home:
Bless your heart, Gina. I'm so sorry you went through this. What you all need to keep in mind is this: It was one day, one mistake. You've all got the rest of your lives to live. XOXO
Gina K!
Your heart was in it and that's what matters the most! The day was about the two of them committing their lives to one another, not cupcakes!!
Much love to a wonderful woman with a heart of gold! XOXO Chris
So many people spend so much time worrying over the details of their wedding. If couples put nearly that effort into the actual marriage, the divorce rate in this country would be much lower. My sister had a bad photographer at her wedding. Her 10 year anniversary is in two weeks and to this day she complains about how she "has nothing to show" from that day. Um…HELLO? You have a faithful and honest husband and two amazing kids. That trumps pictures any day in my book. I know it's a big day for many people and I don't mean to make light of it but it is after all just one day. If you truly love the one your with youve already made the commitment with or without your "Big" day. I'm so sorry she said not nice things. Hopefully someday she will come back and realize that the cake really wasn't all that important.
So sorry Gina! You are a saint for trying in the first place! 🙂 I probably wouldn't have been that brave.
Thank-you for being so honest in this post….I've been struggling to understand my limitations without letting them rule over me..telling myself it's okay to make mistakes and know what I can/can't do and keep learning! 🙂
Sweet friend. Thank you!
Unfortunately some people just don't see it that way. But, you're right, it's just one day and we'll all get over it. Or, not. And I'm okay with that, too.
Thank you, Sara. I tend to be a bit hard on myself and I really don't like to let people down. And, I realllly need to learn to say when I'm uncomfortable with something. Thanks for reading all your kind comments. They're SO appreciated!
🙂 Thanks, Chris!!