Dear Void

I’m not great at small talk.  Or big talks either, for that matter.  I don’t ask a lot of questions and I tend to take the “it is what it is” attitude with most things. 

I’m feeling very small this week-an unusual feeling for a girl like me.  I wonder if I don’t ask enough questions?  If I don’t dig deep enough or if I spend too much time contemplating what color best matches my bridal bouquet?  I made some comments this week that seemed really dumb-that made me seem really dumb and I think that’s a big reason why I keep to myself more often than not.  I’m too afraid of looking or seeming dumb, unintelligent, uninteresting.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this but I just felt like getting it out there, ya know

 And, then, there’s this.  A quote from You’ve Got Mail that keeps replaying in my mind.  

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. –Kathleen Kelly

I haven’t been brave.  Not one little bit in these last few years.  I think it’s time to change that.