Desperately Seeking Gina

It took me a few minutes to remember my password to this place and a bit longer to recall how to use the WordPress blocks. And, after that, I stared at the words “Yoast SEO” along the left-hand side of the page editor. Of all the things I used to be, concerned with SEO, hitting the optimum number of keywords so someone could find me on the internet, and turning all those smiley faces green was of high importance on my blogging journey. Of all the things I once was, a writer was what I was first. The other stuff; the crafting, the making, the “art” I was so desperately searching for served its purpose for the time. I had to get through all those things to come back to me; a girl desperately searching for herself and what she was meant to be.

Things I Once Was

The truth is, I still am all the things I used to be. And, more. I don’t think any of us are ever really finished or that we are just one thing or the other. There’s always something more to learn. Something shiny to gaze upon. New books to read and worlds to discover. We take all those things that we did and all the things we learned along the way and we become all the things we will be. Sometimes we turn all of it, the experiences, the skills we learned, and we turn them into new worlds, both fictional and non.

I used to be a craft blogger. I made and blogged two crafts last year. And yet, the post before that, in August of 2020, I declared I was moving on.

Except, two months later, I was called home to Michigan because my dad was sick. Then, he died. I used to be the daughter of a man named Bruce.

I mean, I still am, but he died and life got hard. Dealing with grief and desperately searching for ways to move on was hard. Is still hard. With counseling and months of talking, of finding all the words to say instead of writing them out, I’m finally feeling like I’m shedding that grief. It was a heavy cloak. Although I say I’m shedding all the other stuff I know it isn’t totally the truth.

A List of Things I Still Am

Crafter.

I like making things; love it, actually and I have a craft room of stuff I’m having difficulty parting with. I’ve started the process of weeding things out but I’m getting back to doing things for me instead of for blogging’s sake. Like metal punching. I loved that in the beginning. Dang. I was not good at it but I moved on before I could practice enough to be better. I’m promising myself it’s okay to post about it but no pressure for it to be perfect, or have the perfect lighting, background, blah, blah, blah.

Pumpkin Obsessed.

I mean, they’re just so cute and fall is the best time of the year.

Reader, Writer, Blogger

Ask anyone in my family and they’d tell you I spent my childhood with my nose in a book. Along came the internet, Facebook, Instagram, and POOF. Suddenly I became obsessed with looking at other people’s lives. Instead of planting my nose in a book, I let the fingers scroll into, past, and over everyone else living their lives and I forgot to continue living mine.

This blog was started as a way to journal the adventure of finding myself. Over the years I’ve archived a lot of the posts for the sake of website clarity, SEO, and not confusing the search engines. In that process, I may have confused myself.

A List of Things I Want to Be

It’s simple. Happy. Honest. Evolving. And filled with coffee. (and maybe cocoa, too).

For the record. I’ve still watched that “Yoast SEO” section on the editing section of this blog. I managed to turn all the smileys green; to craft my sentences for good search engine optimization. Not that anyone is looking, but just in case. 😉